Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
