I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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