He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
