Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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