This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
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While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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