I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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