never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
