Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
