We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
