I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
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