I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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