Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
