Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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