You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize