NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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