marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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