you turned your livingroom into a bong?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You left your phone here
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