This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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