My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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