U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
