His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
