Porn is love you can see.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
