i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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