A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
