Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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