I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
