I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
