Where did you get a picture of my penis
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
