I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
