i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
