Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
