i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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