He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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