if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
