Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
