I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
