dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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