If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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