I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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