Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
