The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
