Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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