totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
