So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize