so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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