i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
