Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
