so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
