she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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