if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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