Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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