I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
