the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dicks are not precious.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize