peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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