talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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