I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
