My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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