He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
